Screw the matrix: x2 is it !!!! - X2: X-Men United Reviews

Holy freakin Smokes! When I walked out of X2 with my hubby, we high-fived each other for having spent the best 20 bucks we ever did at a movie house. I felt (in my best Jackie Chiles voice) exhilarated, endorphinized, adrenalized. And this is coming from a fervent fan of T-2:Judgement Day, Pulp Fiction, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, Enter the Dragon, Face/Off and a bunch of other brilliant action poems on film. I have never read an X-men comic in my life and ya know what? The movie just might turn me into a comicbook geek. The special effects: Elvis lives!!!! Lemme just say that the first fight sequence with Nightcrawler in the White House left me open-jawed and thankful that I am not blind and/or deaf. Magneto's escape from his plastic jail is stunning and gasp-worthy. Pyro unleashing his wrath when he thinks Wolvie is a goner has some awesome explosions and will inspire a whole new generation of young arsonists. The story is complex and yet coherent, thrilling and thought-provoking, very politically incorrect as it attacks the current political and social climate of paranoia, xenophobia and misuse of the Bible as an instrument of hatred and name-calling. And here's an action flick where the women slam ass. Feminists, this magnificent epic was produced by a woman. I'll bet she got some hot guys on her casting couch. Wolvie is a sexy beast, Prof. X and Magneto are classy and cool, but its Cyclops whose shades just add to his smoldering macho charisma. And compare all this to the Matrix-Reloaded,a pathetic confused ridiculous attempt at being cool and appeal to the "younger generation", like a Kentucky pastor's wife dressing like Gwen Stefani to "reach out to the kids" at a pot-is-evil church-kids lecture. Go home Neo and Morpheus, you're just a nice old 90s memory and Trinity, get Neo to marry you or kick him to the curb and instead get a piece of Wolvie's ass. He has cooler powers anyway and doesn't dress like a Gregorian monk lost in a goth boutique. X2 has way way better lighting, way way better production design and way cooler makeup and costumes than the Matrix. And it is as it sould be given that the director is gay. Yep Queer eye for the Film Guy. Why then did the Matrix-Reloaded make more money? Because, gentle reader, most of us are stupid enough to want to believe that a movie saturated with neon green lighting, a sex scene that's boring, prudish and embarrassing all at once, and a 10 minute boring-ass monologue from some old white guy who's, surprise surprise, God,(god can never be a black woman or an Asian guy) is the Best Thing to Come Out of Summer 2003 besides killing Iraqi civilians. And if anyone of you are pathetic enough not to see X2 because yes the movie is a clarion call to accept gay folks as folks and as Americans, well then, lets just say you're exactly the kind of ***** who's the villain in this movie and justly gets strangled and shredded by Wolvie.